To Get Through This Election, Bet on Sports

Political activists already treat elections like team sports, fanatically rooting for Team Red or Team Blue regardless of ever-changing ideologies—so why not watch and bet on actual team sports instead?

The stakes are a lot lower in sports. No one gets deported if Michigan beats Ohio State three times in a row (fortunately for head coach Ryan Day). Inflation won’t rise if long-suffering carpetbagger Yankees fans ever get to celebrate another World Series title. Sports don’t really change public policy at all, since the Nashville Metropolitan Council has shown local governments are willing to shell out $1 billion for shiny new stadiums even for hapless teams like the Tennessee Titans.

But if the stakes in team sports are actually too low for you, you might as well put a $5 bet down on a random game to get yourself interested.

Moneyline bets on a game’s outright winner are my preference when betting—it’s good to have the team’s incentives aligned with mine, unlike over/under bets on combined score or player prop bets on individual performances. But layers upon layers of betting options are available if a straight-up bet doesn’t strike your fancy.

You could bet on James Madison University to score in every quarter of its next game. You could bet on Arsenal to score exactly one goal in the first half of their match against Inter Milan. You could bet on a Dylan Larkin hat trick. You could bet on Fremantle to “win the flag” in the Australian Football League (apparently that means to win the championship).

I am absolutely not saying any of those bets will be winners (especially Fremantle, who I picked just because they have a cool name). But winning money off the bets isn’t the point; it’s the enjoyment you get from watching and having a vested interest in the outcome of the bet—winning your money back plus a little extra is just a nice bonus. Wouldn’t it be fun to spend 2025 following Fremantle’s season? Would you do that if you didn’t have a $5 bet on them to win the flag? Wouldn’t your friends think it was cool that you got into a random Aussie rules football team? (OK, some might think it was weird.)

If you’re just betting a little money, a multileg parlay is a fun way to combine action on a few bets in hopes of scoring a bigger payday (but the house’s cut is bigger on parlays, so they’re not a good long-term strategy). Your $5 bet will be a lot more likely to go down the drain, but there’s a small chance for it to be multiplied many times over.

Thankfully, if you do prefer politics to sports, betting on the election is now legal in America—a federal appeals court ruled that the Commodity Futures Trading Commission failed to prove that election betting was a threat to election integrity. Platforms such as Polymarket and Kalshi offer bets on the Electoral College winner, popular vote winner, the margins of those votes, the balance of power in Congress, and much more, even outside of politics.

Maybe all this sounds like a crazy way to lose money that can only lead to financial ruin. Perhaps that’s true for the rare few who fall into gambling addiction, but even those people are mostly losing their own money. Politicians are addicted to losing billions of dollars of other people’s money every year, and far too few people ever bat an eye at it. Losing $5 on a dumb sports bet pales in comparison to $7.5 billion in government cash building just eight electric vehicle chargers in two and a half years.

Whose bet was worse, that or my $5 bet on Fremantle? (Go Dockers!)

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